The transition into the upcoming school season... Is summer really almost over?!
Summer provides a pause in many of the fall, winter, and spring rhythms and routines. As summer comes to an end, it pushes the play button and turns our thoughts toward another year of beginnings. The beginning of school, homework, getting up early, making lunches, class and life schedules. We begin another year of fall and winter extracurricular activities. . . SCORES! Pirouette. Single Axel. 4/4 time. Acrylics. Monologues. Front kick. HURRY HARD! So many options!
If you are someone who thrives in the routines and rhythms of fall and winter, there is excitement in looking forward to the season ahead. For those who find the shift of the season to be a lot, it’s common and normal to see stress and anxiety on the rise. The awareness of getting our heads and hearts back into the upcoming school year can be alarming. Thoughts that often play in the brain can be: Will I have friends? Will my friends want to play with/include me? Will I be in the same class as my friends? Will I like my teacher? Will my teacher like me? Will I be able to get the work done and pass the grade? Will I get invited to birthday parties, play dates, and times together with friends? Will I make the sports teams I really want to play on? I don’t want to be away from my mom and dad. It feels scary to start a new school, to be in a new building, a new classroom.
Studies show the top identifiers of stress and anxiety to be loss, pressure, unknowns, mistreatment, deadlines, and family concerns. Emotion commonly voiced in times of stress and anxiety is alarm and overwhelm. What happens is common and not new. We hear things like ‘I just can’t sit still’, ‘my stomach hurts’, ‘I don’t feel good’, ‘I don’t want to go’. We see signs of being irritable, on edge, unable to concentrate, appetite change, can’t sleep, tantrums, or clingy and stuck like velcro. There are times we find our way through and carry on, and there are times when it can feel like it’s taking over and spinning out of control.
It helps to make sense of what is happening beneath behaviours that show up. Transition into the newness of the upcoming season is filled with unknowns and pressures which is naturally alarming. The emotional brain is very invested in connection to the things that matter, relational safety, and emotional and mental rest. The ‘what if’s. . .’ or anything that is a real threat to this stirs stress and anxiety within.
We know that life will have times of stress and anxiety. We cannot remove all the pressures and situations that are alarming. Here are some things we can do to help.
1. Provide lots of room for the expression of alarm when courage and bravery are at work. Courage is not the absence of alarm, courage is what we do in the face of what is alarming. A few ideas may be a run, a walk, listening to music, jumping on a trampoline, drawing, painting, journalling, sharing with a safe adult, whatever it is that can facilitate an outlet to make room for the alarm that is stirring.
2. Set an intention for togetherness. A safe emotional connection to a caring adult is the top identifier of mental and emotional health and well-being. It gives us something to hold onto when facing stress and anxiety. A few ideas may be notes in lunch boxes or pockets, a texted heart or ‘love you’, a family picture printed on the inside of a t-shirt covering their heart, a planned lunch date together, time together at the park, reading together, colouring together, watching a show together, time before bed connecting about the day, eating a meal together (even if its in a vehicle on the way to an activity).
3. Reduce or avoid pressures that will be too much. There is a need to be aware of when it is a time to take courage and when it is a time to reduce pressure. Both can be the right decision depending on the state of emotional and mental well-being.4. Reach out for help to navigate stress and anxiety when it is spinning and things feel out of control. It may be a safe other in your community. It may be a professional who can provide support. Creating a safe village is foundational in navigating the journey of mental and emotional health and well-being.
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