Sing along . . .Deck the Halls with Boughs of Holly. . . It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year. I’ll Have a Blue Christmas Without You . . . Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas . . . Joy to the World . . . So this is Christmas . . .Silent Night. The Songs of the season echo through the years.
And, as we turn the calendar page to December, the mystery of how 2024 will unfold is almost fully known. Another year is comin’ to a close and for those who celebrate the Holiday season, it naturally holds the spoken and unspoken anticipation and longing for togetherness.
Research shows that the greatest drive of all humanity is for safe connection with others and the world around us. Safe community, togetherness, and relationship is crazy glue to the wellbeing of humanity. It’s intuitive and it’s innate. As this season unfolds and the awareness of connections and relationships are felt within, there are many situations that stir. Relationships of fond affection, fun, joy, ease in togetherness. Relationships that are strained or broken. Long distance relationships that keeps us from togetherness. Relationships that have experienced loss, grief, sorrow. It’s not always the ‘Most Wonderful Time of the Year’. Joy may or may not be present, or, it may come and go.
Last week I was decorating the tree and I found myself carefully unwrapping old glass ornaments that belonged to my gramma and grampa. They have been gone many years now. As I thoughtfully placed the ornaments on the tree, memories of large family gatherings in a tiny home flooded in. My grampa decorating the tree with the ornaments I now have, and baking shortbread cookies together in my gramma’s kitchen. The sound of her voice as she said ‘Tracy Jo. Stop eating all the cookie dough!’ Her playfulness brings a smile all these years later as I remember her sticking her finger in for her own scoop of cookie dough. I found myself missing gram and gramp. It felt like a hole inside. I also felt thankful for these memories to hold them close even though they are not physically here. I find myself missing my mom as she now lives on the other side of the country and we won’t be together this Christmas season. And, I find myself celebrating that I am stepping into my gram’s shoes in creating togetherness for our family.
I carried on and thoughtfully placed tree ornaments that our kids made when they were small. I found myself fully present with memories of their childhood delight and laughter, the excitement that Christmas brought through their eyes. I found myself missing the years gone by. And, I found myself celebrating the family connections we have now as adults added with the newness of our grandchildren’s delight filling our hearts and home.
Holidays can hold many things for each of us. To acknowledge what is true for you this season can help to navigate the days in a meaningful way. Meaning-full does not mean easy, happy, or fun; although it can mean those things. Meaning-full is creating times that fill your heart in a way that is authentic for you. What matters is that it is authentic to your experience of the season. Meaning-full is not limited to any one thing, it can be many things. It may come in a mixture of things; joy, sadness, missing, frustration, fun, lonely. Creating meaning is filling the time with memories and moments that give honour to the people, situations, and things that matter. Time with special tree ornaments was meaning-full as I decorated the tree. Maybe it’s looking through photos, videos, scrapbooking, game nights, traditional movies, baking, or music. Our family now has a traditional foosball tournament for the turkey carcass. Everyone wants the bones to make homemade turkey soup! Maybe it’s taking a road trip to be with those you love. Maybe it’s in the meaning of Christmas that provides hope, generosity, and the message of love.
Navigating togetherness in strained relationships can be meaningful by setting realistic amounts of time and environments that can make for ‘doable togetherness’ rather than more strain. Broken relationships may be honoured in simply acknowledging the brokeness. Loss and grief can find room in very personal and individual awareness of what it is that will honour and validate the depth of felt absence.
As you navigate the days ahead, I wonder what will be meaning-full for you? Please feel free to send a message to www.tracyazevedo.com/contact to share your experience of meaning this season if that is meaningful for you. I do wish you times of fullness in the many situations that are present this Holiday season.
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